https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0p6KbO5kaU France Joli 1979
Had
a day where parenting my teen daughter, I parent myself and we went
grocery shopping and I ended up shopping alone which was fine. Then
had a toddler crying who I could hear from the opposite side of the
store all the way till I found him w/ a guy who was standing there
staring at him like...a blank. No emotion. No words. I felt sorry for
the little guy cause it was like no one understood or cared about why
he was crying. I mean it had been going on for a good 10-15 mins. And
I just drive (my scooter) by looking at them. They were on their way
to check out. What do you do?
My
son gave me a wooden Easter Island face monument for Christmas that I
can put my reading glasses on at night, cute.
How
I get up in the morning: I lean forward putting feet on floor (my bed
is high) and with Herculean effort push myself to stand upright. I
put my water glass from my dresser top onto my walker seat. I walk
feeling my body protesting to gravity a few steps to my bathroom. I
park my rollerator to the left, and balance myself a few steps with
the wall, a bathtub handle and two handbars on each side of my toilet
while turning myself to sit. I have to hold handbars to sit on my
toilet with a plastic risen seat. After particulars, I go through
pulling myself up on bars, pull up pants that I was careful not to be
standing on, flush and head out to my walker. I head out of my room
some mornings with my doggie directly in front down the hall, stopped
for a second in front of the thermostat wondering if I should turn it
up, but it was warm enough already. Listened to the silence going by
my dd's room and glad she's sleeping restfully. Go the rest of few
steps to the table and sit at laptop and here I am.
So
I've journaled through thoughts on what it would be like to go back
to church after three years out, no thank you. If you read this and have a particular
question, just put it in the comment section and I'll be as honest as
I can.
On
the author Patricia Highsmith- “I often had the feeling Ripley was
writing it and I was merely typing.”
By
age of 12 she knew she was a boy in a girls body. Do I need to bring
out my inner man? That's Jung, right? The balance. Animus and Anima,
yin and yang. What does man and masculine even mean? Societal or
cultural training? Biological survival , cavemen with strength to do
things a woman had a hard time doing and women childbearing? There's
the whole thing of gender fluidity. Is it emotions or physical
capabilities or both?
Reading
“The Price of Salt” which has been made into the movie “Carol”.
Patricia Highsmith is an intriguing author, she died in 1995. I just
found out she knew James Baldwin (one of my favorite authors) and
someone suggested reading “Beautiful Shadow: a Life of Patricia
Highsmith. While I'm waiting to get that book, I plan on watching
“The Talented Mr. Ripley” which is one of the characters she
wrought out of her imagination.
Also
been thinking I'm going to go over my Azar Nafisi (Reading Lolita in
Tehran) notes and start reading the author's she wrote about.
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